You know what? I couldn't POSSIBLY tell you the third line of "On Top of Old Smokey," let alone the second verse, and I would imagine that most other people my age or younger couldn't, either. But everyone knows this:
On top of spaghetti
all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball
when somebody sneezed
it rolled out the table
it rolled down the floor
and last time I saw it
it went out the door.
I used to sing that to the tune of "Chariots of Fire." It works.
Anyway, there are many more verses in some versions, but I don't really believe this is a "kids song." It was recorded by folk singer Tom Glazer back in 1963, and is pretty clearly an adult-written tune that was taught to kids. If kids had written it , it would have been dirtier or more violent.
For instance, here's a version that's been going around since at least 1972, according to Sherman (whose book is in the sidebar on the right):
On top of old smokey
all covered with blood
I shot my poor teacher
with a 44 slug
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
everybody threw flowers
I threw a grenade
An alternate ending:
I shot her with pleasure,
I shot her with pride
I couldn't have missed her
she was forty feet wide
The first line of that version is "On Top of Spaghetti" at least as often as it's "On top of old smokey" nowadays. The parody has overtaken the original so thoroughly that I don't think many kids even realize "On Top of Spaghetti" is a parody of anything.
A 1950s version collected by Sherman:
On top of old smokey,
all covered with snow
I saw Roy Rogers
screw Marilyn Monroe
He took off his pants and
hung them on a stick
she said oh you have
such a big (pause) horse.
He said "Oh gosh, ma'am
you sure do look pretty"
he laid down beside her
and played with her (pause) toes.
THe contributor to Sherman's book couldn't remember (or wouldn't admit) a fourth verse, but knew there was one.
Which ones did YOU sing?
We had a third verse for the teacher song (London, ON, circa 1980-83) which went:
ReplyDeleteWhen I opened her coffin
She wasn't quite dead
So I took a bazooka
And blew off her head.
Charlotte, NC, circa mid-1980s:
ReplyDeleteOn top of old smokey
All covered with sand
I shot my poor teacher
with a red rubber band
I shot her with glory
I shot her with cheer
because she was drinking
my Budweiser beer
On top of a mountain
ReplyDeleteall covered with sand
I shot my poor teacher
with a red rubber band
I shot her with happiness
I shot her with pride
I couldn't have missed her,
she's forty feet wide
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
When people threw flowers,
I threw a hand grenade.
It blew up the city
It blew up the town
It blew my poor teacher
Straight out of the ground.
SilverSpring80s's last verse was also sung by me, in Massachusetts in the 1990s.
ReplyDeleteon top of a mountain all covered with sand,
ReplyDeletei shot my poor teacher with a red rubber band,
she rolled off the mountain and unto the ground, and then (something something i cant recall),
i went to her funeral,
i walked pass her grave,
some people threw flowers,
i threw hand grenades,
her body went up,
her body came down,
her body went splat,
all over the ground,
but to my great horror,
she wasnt quite dead,
so i took a bazooka,
and blasted her head.
On top of a mountain,
ReplyDeleteall covered in blood,
I shot poor 'ol Barney,
with a 44 slug.
But then big 'ol Barney,
just still wasn't dead.
So with a bazooka,
I shot of his head.
Never heard this Barney one. Onlly Barney I know is;
DeleteI hate you
You hate me
I shot Barney's family
With an M16 and a bullet through his head
Aren't you glad that Barney's dead!
I heard this from one of my friends:
ReplyDeleteOn top of the school bus,
All covered in blood,
I shot down poor Barney,
With a 44 slug.
I went to his funeral,
I went to his grave,
Everybody threw flowers,
I threw a grenade.
Then 20 years later,
He rose from the dead,
He cut off my finger,
So I cut off his head.
heard this one from a friend
ReplyDeleteon top of the mountain,
all covered in blood,
because i killed barney,
with my 44 slug
i went o his funeral,
and then to his grave,
instead of some flowers,
i threw a grenade
he woke up and chased me,
i thought he was dead,
so i got my bazooka, and blew of his head,
he rolled down the mountain,
and into a ditch
and right there he told me
you son of a *****
@ jorge, yea when i was in elementary school, we used to say that :/
ReplyDeleteexcept it differed a bit:
On top of spaghetti,
all covered with blood,
I shot poor barney,
with my 4 inch gun
I went to his funeral,
I went to his grave,
some people threw flowers,
but i threw a grenade
and then it ends with yours, but we stopped after we blew of his head...
Mine is basically the one in the original post, but ".44 slug" is changed to ".52 slug" (it does flow better to my ears although it's a nonexistent caliber) and the last verse is included:
ReplyDeleteOn top of old smokey
all covered with blood
I shot my poor teacher
with a .52 slug
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
It blew up the city
It blew up the town
It blew my poor teacher
Right out of the ground
Source: Northern Virginia, early-to-mid '90s. The form invites improvised verses and I seem to remember there were several others. At the time the last verse struck me as an awfully abrupt ending so I had to make another one to wrap it up better... now that I'm not in third grade anymore it seems a bit better but the combination of the music and words seemed at the time that it just needed "more" there.
On top of a mountain all covered in snow
ReplyDeleteThere is someone
I shot five minutes ago.
I shot her with pleasure
I shot her with pride
I couldn’t have missed her
She was forty foot wide
I went to her funeral
Her body was laid
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade.
Her body went up
Her body went down
Some people were laughing
Some people were sad
Her mother was crying
But inside she was glad
On top of a mountain all covered in grass
There was a bald eagle who was scratching his….
Don’t be mistaken
Don’t be misled
There sat a bald eagle stratching his head.
On top of old smokey
ReplyDeleteall covered with blood
I shot my poor teacher
with a 44 slug
the very next morning
she wasn't quite dead
I pulled out my bazooka
and blew of her head
I went to her building
her daughter was home
so I fucked her all over Rome
on top of spaghetti
ReplyDeleteall covered in blood,
i shot my poor teacher,
with a 44 slug
i went to her funeral,
and then to her grave,
instead of some flowers,
i threw a grenade
she woke up and chased me,
i thought she was dead,
so i got my bazooka,
and blew of her head
On top of Ol' Smokey all bloody and red
ReplyDeleteI hit my poor teacher with a sackful of lead.
I went to her casket, she still wasn't dead,
so I took my bazooka and blew off her head.
I went to her funeral, I went to her grave,
Instead of throwing flowers, I threw a grenade.
Georgia, early 2000's
on top of old smokey all covered in blood
ReplyDeletethere was an apche face down in the mud
a knife in his belly an axe in his head
i took it for granted the apache was dead
on top of old smokey all covered in grass
there was a bald eagle scratching his...
don't be mistaken, don't be mislead
for the bald eagle was scratching his head
in the boy scouts, uk in the early 90's
(as well as the red rubber band one about the teacher)
Made this up my self on 10/23/2011
ReplyDeleteon top of the mountain,
all covered in blood,
i killed a black Nigger,
with my 44 slug
i went to his funeral,
and pissed on his grave,
instead of some flowers,
i threw a grenade
he woke up and chased me,
i thought he was dead,
so i got my bazooka, and blew of his head,
he rolled down the mountain,
and into a ditch
and right there he told me
you son of a *****
I learned this one:
ReplyDeleteOn top of old Smokey
all covered with sand
I shot Dear Old Barney
with a red rubber band.
When I got to the bottom
he wasn't quite dead
so I took a bazooka
and I blew off his head.
I went to his funeral
I peed on his grave
some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade.
It blew up the city
it blew up the town
it blew Dear Old Barney
right out of the ground.
Cincinnati, OH, 2010
On top of old Smokey
ReplyDeleteAll covered in Blood
I shot my poor teacher
with a forty foot slug
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
some people threw flowers
I threw a gernade
I went to her coffin
she still wasn't dead
so I took a bazooka
and blew off her head
[Blue Springs, MO - mid to late 80's]
we then continued to make up lines about still not being dead yet - for example...
But she still wasn't dead yet
so I got out my sword
I sliced off her panties
And nailed it to a board.
But she still wasn't dead yet
so I got in my Ford
I drove that poor pickup
right up her rear drawers
But she still wasn't dead yet
so I got in my Jet
I shot the machine guns
until nothing was left
But she still wasn't dead yet
so I got out my flame thrower
I started laying Napalm
and blew up that whore
...
A minor varient from Feilding, New Zealand, around 1979
ReplyDeleteOn top of Old Smokey
All covered with blood
I shot my 'poor' teacher
with a 40-foot slug
I shot her with pleasure
I shot her with pride
I did it quite easily
She's forty feet wide
I went to her funeral
I spat on her grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
On Top of Old Smokey
ReplyDeleteall covered in blood
I found my true lover
her face in the mud
A knife in her stomach
an axe in her head
I got the impression
My true love was dead
This was sung in Ontario, Canada, 2011 by me and my 7th-Grade friends:
ReplyDeleteOn top of spaghetti(I know it makes no sense)
All covered in blood
I massacred Barney
With a .42 stud
I went to his funeral
I went to his grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
I looked in the casket
He wasn't quite dead
So I swiped a bazooka
And blew off his head
He rolled down the hillside
And into a ditch
His very last words were
"You son of a ***!"
on top of old smokey all covered with blood i shot my dear sister with a 44:slug i went to her funeral i went to her grave Some people threw flowers
ReplyDeleteI threw a grenade the cops came to get me and throw me in jail i got my bazooka and sent them all to hell
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteon top of the school bus
ReplyDeleteall covered in blood
i shoot barny
with a 44 slug
i went his funarul
i went to his grave
evrybody throw flowers i throw a grenade
i shoot him with pleasure
i shoot him with pride
50 years later
he didnt look quit dead
i took my bouzuca shoot his head
there is no more barney for another year
top of ol smokey all covered in blood i shot that fat barny with a valcan minigun i read in the newspaper that he was not dead i went to his grave site and blew off his head i went to his funeral i went to his grave some people threw flowers while i threw granades
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, "on top of spaghetti' was a novelty song by Tom Glazer in the 1960's. The variations, however, are (as best I can tell) playground variations.
ReplyDeleteThe version I grew up with (Ventura, CA: late 70's early 80's' was as follows:
On top of old smokey,
All covered with sand
I shot my poor teacher,
with a red rubber band.
I went to her funeral.
I went to her grave.
Instead of dropping flowers.
I threw a hand grenade.
I had no idea that anyone named Mr. Glazer published it in 1963, because I clearly remember singing it before that. So maybe his particular version, with the rimes of "bush" with "mush," came out in 1963, but our version was not that tame
ReplyDelete.
The first two verses seem standard "on top of spaghetti. . . rolled out the door." What I am struggling with is the version of what happened to the meatball that we would sing, but the last line was always "and I honor my meatball on Memorial Day."
Hilarious. All of them! This is the version we sang in school:
ReplyDeleteOn top of Ol' Smokey,
all covered in sand
I shot my poor teacher
with a red rubber band.
I did it with pleasure,
I did it with pride.
I couldn't have missed her;
she was forty feet wide.
I went to her funeral;
I went to her grave.
Everyone threw flowers;
I threw a grenade.
The police came and got me
and threw me in jail.
I got a machine gun,
and blew them to hell.
on top of a school bus
ReplyDeleteall covered in sand
i shot poor barney
with a red rubber band
i shot him with courage
i shot him with pride
i shot poor barney
right in his left eye
i went to his funeral
i went to his grave
i didn't bring flowers
i bought a grenade
i blew up the city
i blew up the town
i blew up poor barney
right out of the ground
On top of Old Smokey
ReplyDeleteAll covered with blood
I shot my 'poor' teacher
with a 40-foot slug
I went to her funeral
I spat on her grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
She chased me through heaven
She chased me through hell
Then i saw the devil and shot him aswell
On top of Old Smokey
ReplyDeleteAll covered with blood
I shot my 'poor' teacher
with a 40-foot slug
I went to her funeral
I spat on her grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
I opened her coffin
she still wasn't dead
so i took a boozka
and blew off the head
She chased me through heaven
She chased me through hell
Then i saw the devil and shot him aswell
Auckland, New Zealand... circa 1982
ReplyDeleteOn top of old Smokey
All covered in sand
I shot my poor teacher
With a red rubber band
I shot her with pleasure
I shot her with pride
I couldn't have missed her
She was forty feet wide
I went to her funeral
It was a parade
When everyone threw flowers
I threw a grenade
I saw her go to Pluto
I saw her go to Mars
She's still got that old habit
Of smoking cigars
After seeing all the other variations, I have come to the conclusion that the version I heard in California, late 1960s is also a schoolyard fabrication. I still don't see any other posts with the lyrics I remember hearing and always thought were original which are:
ReplyDeleteOn top of Old Smokey, all covered in snow,
I lost my poor sweet heart, in 40 below...
New Zealand, early 1980's
ReplyDeleteOn top of old smokey
All covered in cheese
I shot my poor teacher
With a red rubberband
I couldnt've missed her
She was 40 foot wide
I shot her with pleasure
I shot her with pride
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
Her body went up
Her body went down
Her body went splat
All over the ground
Australia, early '70s:
ReplyDeleteOn top of Old Smokey,
all covered in blood,
I saw my teacher
stuck in the mud.
A knife in her stomach,
an axe in her head,
I came to the conclusion
my teacher was dead.
I didn't go to her funeral,
I didn't go to her grave,
I didn't give her any flowers,
just an old hand grenade.
On top of old Smokey
ReplyDeleteAll covered with sand
I shot my poor teacher
With a green rubberband.
I shot her with pleasure
I shot her with pride
I couldn't have missed her
She was 40 feet wide
Then all of a sudden
I heard a kaboom
And my poor teacher
Was all over the room
Her head in the trash can
Her ear in the fan
But there was no sign
Of my green rubber band.
Oklahome late 70's / early 80's
On top of Mount Diablo all covered in blood
ReplyDeleteI shot poor Elmo with a machine gun
I went to his funeral, I went to his grave.
Some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade.
It blew up the city it blew up the town.
It blew poor Elmo right out of the ground.
In 1,000,000 years later, he ruled the grave. So I blew off his head with a big laser bergade.
1997 England, London age 10
ReplyDeleteI climbed up a mountain
I climbed up a tree
I saw John major
And blew off his knees
I went to his funeral
I went to his grave
The others threw flowers
I threw a grenade
it blew up the city
It blew up the town
It blew John major
Right out of the ground
20 years later
He still wasn't dead
So I got a bazooka
And blew off his head
On top of a mountain
ReplyDeleteAll covered with blood,
I shot my friend Barney
With my 44 slug.
I heard in the news one day
That he wasnt quite dead,
So I bought a bazooka
And blew off his head
I went to his funeral
And drank lemonade
I saw people throw flowers
So I threw a grenade.
He came back to haunt me
In my house every night
So I killed myself also
And went into the light.
But then I remembered
I murdered Barney
So I was put in a hell that
Was made just for me.
On top of old smokey
ReplyDeleteAll covered with lead
I shot my old teacher
And blew off her head
It rolled down the mountain
And into a ditch
I shot my old teacher
Cause she was a bitch
NY, 1990's