First is the Worst

Any time kids at my school were in a race to get somewhere, the winner would be taken down a peg with the following:

"First is the worst,
second's the best
third is a nerd
in the polka dot dress"


A few years later, when my little sister learned it, her friends had changed the last couple of lines to "third is the BEST in the polka dot dress" (the fact that second was already the best didn't bother her in the slightest, no matter what I said). The person who came in first would, before anyone could claim otherwise, recite the rhyme starting with "Zero's the hero." This line was unknown to me until my sister and her friends started using it.

She and her friends didn't invent this, of course; even the "zero's the hero" bit has been going around for years. The "third" in other versions was often "the hairy princess" or "the one with the hairy chest."

Some appear to have gone even further, adding in "fourth is the king, fifth is the queen, sixth is the one in the washing machine. And, of course, there are LOTS of variations in the comments. Really, the comments to this one have gotten absolutely out of control.

As to how old it is, well... one version appears in a book of “New England Sayings”[1] from 1894:

First’s the worse
second’s the same
last’s the best
of all the game

So it's at least a century old, but I have to imagine it can probably be traced back beyond that. Variations go back way further see more in the ebook:

BANNER PLAYGROUND tan2

143 comments:

  1. my kids' version ends with
    "Third is the one in the wedding dress"


    fun posts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the actual one:

      Minus the highness
      Zero the hero
      Decimal the best of all
      First the worst
      Second the best
      Third the one with the hairy chest
      Fourth the one with the golden gun

      Delete
    2. this is how it really goes:
      Zero Is the hero
      First is the worst
      Second is the best
      Third is the one with the hairy chest
      Fourth is the one with the treasure chest
      Fifth is the one who forgot to get dressed
      Sixth is the one in the polka dot dress
      Seventh is from Heaven
      Eighth is the one with the golden gate
      Umm yeah that's all I know...

      Delete
    3. Honestly, just reading these comments, I have to agree that there are so much versions. My little sister was telling my even littler sister that it was first is the worst, second is the best, and third is the one with a treasure chest. They were debating who they would rather be (first, second or last). But in my mind, I was like, who in the world made that up thought it made sense??? I thought it was something that was said to make people who weren't first feel better. Because face it, in the real world first is not the worst, (unless it is like the first who got killed and etc.[but in that perspective, why would the second be the best?]) One example is in a running race. In a race. it is obvious that the first person to win will get the trophy, therefore being the best AND getting the "treasure chest". (Why is the second the best anyways? How do you know the third is getting the treasure chest? How does this relate to the real world? [I doesn't in my perspective :P])

      Delete
  2. NOOO! Its first the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, 4th the golden eagle, 5th the witch in the ditch eating bread and treacle. Your school was Rubbish!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. zero the hero
      first the worst
      second the best
      third with the hairy chest
      fourth with the golden guts
      firth with the sliver dress
      Sixth with the golden dress

      Delete
    2. NOOOOO!!!!!
      zero the hero
      first is worst
      second is best
      third's the one with the poka dot dress
      Fourth's the one with the hairy chest

      Delete
  3. In lancashire in the 80's I knew it as:
    1st the worst,
    2nd the best,
    3rd the one with the hairy chest,
    4th the one with nothing on,
    5th the dirty donkey!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wrong
      1st the worst
      2nd the best
      3rd the one with the hairy chest
      4th the golden princess

      Delete
    2. First the worst
      Second the best
      Third the dirty donkey
      Fourth the golden eagle
      Fifth the squashed tomato.

      Delete
  4. first the worst
    second the undressed
    third the one with the fat lip
    fourth the one with the zit
    fifth the one falling down the pit
    sixth the one eating shit

    ReplyDelete
  5. first the burst
    second is someone falling of a cliff
    third is a person kissing somebodys balls
    fourth is kissing my ass
    fifth is somebody getting burn
    sixth is the one who has a ugly face with poop

    ReplyDelete
  6. first the bitch
    second the snitch
    third is yuck
    FOURTH IS A DUM FUCK
    FITH HAS NO DICK
    SIXTH IS A DAMN PRICK

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. zero the hero
      first the worst
      second the best
      third with the hairy chest
      fourth with the golden gurst
      firth with the sliver dress
      Sixth with the golden dress

      Delete
    2. you know it's not right there are kids who can come to this website don't put swear words it is bad language it is
      zero the hero
      first the worst
      second the best
      third with the hairy chest
      fourth with the golden guts
      firth with the sliver dress
      Sixth with the golden dress

      Delete
    3. hi i am a kid why would you put that in a website were you know kids will visit shame on you what will god think shame on you

      Delete
    4. God doesn't exist, kid...

      Delete
    5. God exist you noob >:O

      Delete
    6. yeah, dont be a douche, but im 12 and i find that cursing version like 10 times funnier!

      Delete
    7. yeah, and um.. i'm 13, and cursing is dumb. and for a 12 year old, you're very rude and inappropriate.

      Delete
    8. Well.. Different people have different personalities, if or if not they are affected by curse words or not its human nature

      Delete
    9. Yeah, I'm 13, after a while, honestky, cursing isn't really cool, it's old and stale. Also I used to do it as...
      zero the hero
      first the worst
      second the best
      third the one with the hairy chest...

      We never really went any higher than that... I was really lazy as a 7 year old, couldn't be bothered... |:0

      Delete
    10. lol i love this one its funny n better than the others

      Delete
    11. no its first the worst
      2nd the best
      3rd with the hairy chest
      4th with polkadot dress
      5th with the treasure chest
      6th golden bird
      7th in heaven

      Delete
    12. Lol u guys I'm 14 and I find this one the best of all of them!! The other are just boring and u little thirteen year olds trying to act all mighty huh??

      Delete
    13. Mother of god the internet is depraved these days. I don't know why I'm even responding to this...But, to follow the format of all you other teens, I'm 17, and I think you are all taking this way too seriously. I think no one has a right to tell a kid that God doesn't exist. I think using curse words is what immature people use as a perceived shortcut to maturity. I think too many people use "Anonymous" as an excuse to be a bully. And I think no one will really care that I said any of this. So enjoy refuting this with a huge lack of logic.

      Delete
    14. I'm 17 also, and I strongly agree with you.. honestly I think that its our job being older then these kids to influence them to have better manors then what those 2 said .. I care.. no one is perfect. Trust me but its I think its good to show them that all thing don't have to b turned bad to br a fun saying

      Delete
    15. Me too. I am 16 and I agree with you. He should not be taking this too far.

      Delete
    16. ok this is how i know it
      First is he worst
      Second is the best
      Third is the one with a hairy chest
      and
      Fourth is the one with the poka dot dress

      and i dont now anymore

      Delete
    17. all of you are wrong and right but it is zero the hero , first the worst , secound the best , third the one with the hariry chest, 4t the wrong with the poka dot dress, 5th the one with the siliver dress , 6 th the with the golden dress, 8 th the one with the treasue chest etc i f you don't like what the person said say disagree and say why nicely btw i am 12

      Delete
  7. First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the dirty donkey
    Fourth the one with the golden chest/dress
    Fifth the golden eagle

    ReplyDelete
  8. We had it all the way up to 10 at one point, but I can only remember:

    First the worst,
    Second the best,
    Third the golden bird

    (BC around 1990's)

    ReplyDelete
  9. First the worst.
    Second the best.
    Third the one with the hairy chest.
    Fourth the golden eagle.
    Fifth the the evil witch.
    Sixth the beaver bucky.
    Seventh the loser lucky.
    (Alberta in the early '00s)
    and zero the hero if you wanted to be precise about it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. minus the higness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the one with the hairy chest
    fourth the one with the golden gun
    fifth the one with the chinese bum
    sixth the one with multi gun

    ReplyDelete
  11. First the worst
    second the best
    third the nerd
    fourth the dwarf
    fifth the golden eagle

    ReplyDelete
  12. -=highness
    0=hero
    1=worst
    2=best
    3=cute little bird
    4=dwarf
    5=dino
    6=dodo
    7=cat
    8=unicorn
    9=stolen clementine
    10=fat hen

    ReplyDelete
  13. scotland early 00's

    minus the highness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the one with the hairy chest
    fourth the golden eagle
    fifth the dirty donky :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First The Worst
      Second The Best
      Third The One With The Hairy Chest
      Fourth The One With The Golden Gun
      Fifth The One With The Witches Bum

      Delete
  14. First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the one with the hairy chest
    Fourth the golden eagle
    Fifth the fairy princess

    Essex, early 1980s

    ReplyDelete
  15. First the worst
    Second teh best
    Third the one with the hairy chest
    Fith the king
    Sixth the queen
    Seventh the golden eagle

    DEVON, early oo's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 0 is the hero
      1st is the worst
      2nd is the best
      3rd is the one with the hairy hair chest.
      4th is the queen
      5th is the king
      6th is the one who held the golden ring
      7 play Madden
      8 couldn't skate
      9 is the one who went on a very hot date

      Delete
  16. Zero the hero
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the one with the hairy chest
    Fourth the king
    fith the queen
    sixth the golden eagle

    Devon, early 00's

    ReplyDelete
  17. 1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the king
    5th the queen
    6th the one with a pretty dress
    7th the one out to impress
    8th the flurt
    9th eating dirt
    10th without a shirt
    Thats all i can remember this is what i remember it as :T x

    ReplyDelete
  18. London 2011
    Minus the highness
    Zero the hero
    First the worst
    second the best
    third is the one with the hairy chest
    fourth's the dwarf
    fifth's the dwif

    ReplyDelete
  19. Bahrain, late 90s:

    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the one with a hairy chest
    fourth the king
    fifth the queen
    sixth the joker who remains unseen

    I can't remember the rest except ten is the one who's a big fat hen because everyone started clucking and flapping their arms.

    ReplyDelete
  20. minus the highness
    zero the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the hairy princess/fairy princess
    4th the ghost eating toast halfway up the lampost
    5th the witch eating sticks halfway up the football pitch
    and i think there was a golden eagle later on but my memory escapes me...
    (not sure why the 4th and 5th are so descriptive; or why a witch was eating sticks)
    newcastle; 90s

    ReplyDelete
  21. I've heard:
    1st the worst,
    2nd the best,
    3rd the one with the golden dress {or chest if a boy},
    4th the king,
    5th the queen,
    6th the one in the washing mashine,
    7th went to heaven,
    8th went through the wrong gate,
    9th is divine,
    10th are men,
    11th did the same as 7th,
    12th wore a skinny belt,
    13th burnt the toast,
    14th bought new teeth.

    I'm 12 so that must've been 2004-2009? In Essex, close to London.

    ReplyDelete
  22. NO PEOPLE IT IS
    0 IS THE HERO
    1 IS WORST
    2 IS BEST
    3 IS THE NERD
    4 IS THE KING
    5 IS THE QUEEN
    6 IS THE ONE WITH THE WASHING MACHINCE
    7 WENT TO HEAVEN
    8 WENT TO THE WRONG GATE
    9 IS THE DIVINE
    10 ARE THE MEN
    11 SAME AS 7
    12 WORE A SKINNY BELT
    13 BURNT THE TOAST
    14 BOUGHT NEW TEETH

    ReplyDelete
  23. its
    first is the worst
    second is the best
    third is the one with a treaser chest
    fourth is the one with the harry chest
    fith is the one with the wedding dress

    ReplyDelete
  24. Zero the hero
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the royal princess
    Fourth the ghost eating toast half way up a lamp post
    Fifth the witch eating sticks while in the middle of a football pitch
    Sixth the one riding on the washing machine
    Seven went to visit heaven
    Eight went to see a mate
    Nine always looked divine
    Ten loved the attention from men
    Eleven went with seven
    That was 2004 roughly and from Sunderland area

    ReplyDelete
  25. Sydney, Australia 1980s
    No, no, no, this is the way it is my friends:

    Zero the hero
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the hairy princess
    Fourth the Porsche
    Fifth the prince

    ReplyDelete
  26. Zero the hero
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the one with the hairy chest
    Fourth the one with the golden eagle

    Gloucestershire, England

    I always wondered why the golden eagle came into it...some really tasteless ones on here, just goes to show how filthy kids are!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Replies
    1. forth was not the sexy coak it was the golden princess

      Delete
  28. 1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the one that god loves best
    school 2011

    ReplyDelete
  29. First is the worst
    Second the best
    Third is the one with the golden egg
    Fourth the one with the golden chest
    Fifth is the one with the golden dress
    Sixth the one with the polka dotted dress

    says my daughter

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. first the worst
      second the best
      3rd the one with a hairy chest
      4th the one that god loves best

      Delete
  30. first is the worst
    second is the best
    third is the one with the treasure chest.

    That's the one I know, I don't think there were other lines after. I think my 3rd line was only at my school (or area, iunno)

    (Toronto, Ontario, 2003-2009 ish)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 3rd is hairy chest
      5th with treasure chest

      Delete
  31. 1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rds a nerd
    4th goes up north
    5th gets a kiss.
    That's how it is in Michigan! :D

    ReplyDelete
  32. 1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    3rd the one with the golden gun
    4th the one with the machine gun
    north west london and ive forgot the rest

    ReplyDelete
  33. Ours always made no sense. Looking at other comments it was probably a bastardised version that didn't get passed down quite right.

    "First the worst,
    Second the best,
    Third the golden eagle."

    New Zealand, 1980s.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oddly, this is the version we had in early-mid 90s doncaster, in northern england.

      Delete
  34. 0 is the hero
    first is the worst
    seconds the best
    third is the one with the treasure chest
    fourth is the one with the wedding dress
    fifth is the one with the hairy chest

    ReplyDelete
  35. 1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the golden princess
    4th is the same
    5th is always the one to blame
    6th is cool
    7th peed in the pool

    ReplyDelete
  36. NONE of these make the least sense! XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. they dont even RHYME past third! hahahaha

      Delete
  37. zero the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the treasure chest
    4th the dwarf

    i can't remember the rest :(

    MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. heard above: Cheltenham, 2011- my friends used to say it at school

    ReplyDelete
  39. 1 is worst
    2 is best
    3 is one with treasure chest

    ReplyDelete
  40. 1st has no luck
    2nd is a fuck (Chicago, early 1950s)
    3rd has a sword
    4th killed 5th
    5th got lifted
    6th ate 7th
    7th went to heavem
    8th broke the rules
    9th drooled in the pool
    10th drank the drool
    11th drank the pool...........................................




    10000th ate 11.11 went to heaven. the end

    ReplyDelete
  41. Theres only 3 lines that i know of
    1st is the worst
    2nd is the best and
    3rd is the one with the hairy chest

    ReplyDelete
  42. Notinghamshire 1980sDecember 30, 2011 at 12:07 AM

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the cheeky monkey
    5th the fairy queen
    6th the golden eagle

    ReplyDelete
  43. no no no this is it

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the dwarf
    5th the dwift
    6th the one who eats gold fish
    7th the one who licks the window

    ReplyDelete
  44. 1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the nerd
    4th the wort
    5th the king
    6th the one that sings
    7th the one that got lost in the mist
    8th the ever-ending gate
    9th the one that led the fight
    10th the end

    ReplyDelete
  45. I only remember this from my childhood. ;3 And to all those who say that they're all wrong, all places have different variations, the only sameness is the beat.

    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the one in a golden dress
    Fourth is the king
    Fifth is the queen
    Sixth is the one in a washing machine (or Sixth is the one who remains unseen)
    Seven went to heaven
    Eight was late
    Nine was the one who opened the gate...

    -Loki

    ReplyDelete
  46. hong kong mid 90's

    minus the highness
    0 the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the hairy princess
    4th the golden eagle
    5th the rotten egg
    6th the cowboy from the west

    ReplyDelete
  47. 1st is the worst
    2nd is the best
    3rd is the one with the hairy chest
    4th is the one polka dotted dress
    5th is the one with the treasure chest

    ReplyDelete
  48. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

    First the worst
    Second the best
    third the one with the hairy chest
    fourth the one that god loves best
    5th the one with the golden dress
    THATS ALL I KNOW!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Zero is the hero
    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the one with the harry chest
    Fourth is the one with the treasure chest
    Fifth is the one with the polka dot dress
    Sixth is the king
    Seventh is the queen
    Eighth is the one in the washing machine

    ReplyDelete
  50. Zero is the hero
    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the one with the harry chest
    Fourth is the one with the treasure chest
    Fifth is the one with the polka dot dress
    Sixth is the king
    Seventh is the queen
    Eighth is the one in the washing machine

    ReplyDelete
  51. No you're all wrong!!!
    It goes a little something like this...

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the royal princess
    4th the dwarf
    5th the thief

    That's all i remember xD

    ReplyDelete
  52. NW Kent, UK, 1970s:

    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the golden eeeeeagle.

    I don't know if there was more, or if I've only remembered that far. It certainly appears there should be more.
    BTW "Eagle" was stretched out in it's first syllable.

    Why a 'golden eagle' - is this some alchemical reference, or a reference to the gold eagle lectern in church?

    ReplyDelete
  53. 1st is the worst
    2nd is the best
    3rd is the one with the hairy chest
    4th is the one that GOD loves best
    5th is a freak
    6th is a nerd
    7th is the one that freaks on the dance floor
    8th is a dwarf
    9th is thr one that wears big shoes
    and 10th is the one that wins the game

    ReplyDelete
  54. i heard it in a school on LA California on December 10th on 2011

    ReplyDelete
  55. Surely it's the taking part that counts...

    ReplyDelete
  56. First the worst,
    second the best,
    third's the one with the silver dress,
    forth's the one with the golden gun,
    fifth's the one with the hairy bum,
    ...

    ReplyDelete
  57. This is how we did rhymed it:

    First the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the one with the wedding dress, fifth the one with the treasure chest.

    ReplyDelete
  58. NO ITS FIRST ID THE WORST,SECOND IS THE BEST,THIRD IS THE ONE WITH THE GOLDEN CHEST AND ALSO SOMETIMES WE SAY FOURTH IS THE ONE WITH THE BALLERINA DRESS

    ReplyDelete
  59. Well, I learned it like this:

    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the one with the treasure chest
    Fourth is the one with the hairy chest
    Fifth is the one who forgot to get dressed
    Sixth is the cowboy heading west
    Seventh is the taco with a lot of zest

    Boy, there sure are many different variations on this rhyme, aren't there?

    ReplyDelete
  60. yijjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

    ReplyDelete
  61. 1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the one with the golden gun
    6th the one with the electronic bum!!

    ReplyDelete
  62. 1st is the worst
    2nd is the best
    3rd is the one with nothing on
    4th is the one with a red thong

    ReplyDelete
  63. First is the worst, second is the same, third is the one with the disconnected brain.

    ReplyDelete
  64. First, the worst,
    The backside burst
    Second, the best,
    But no recess
    Third is the one with the treasure chest.

    ReplyDelete
  65. 1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the one with the shiny bum
    (from my 6 year old)

    ReplyDelete
  66. that is a disgrace.

    ReplyDelete
  67. chloza likes toilets

    ReplyDelete
  68. Jessica Is Da BOMBJune 26, 2012 at 6:22 AM

    Zero the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the hairy princess
    4th the ghost eating toast half-way up the lampost
    5th the witch eating chips half-way up the football pitch!....
    NOW THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT.

    ReplyDelete
  69. i am a toilet lover
    and i love toilets
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    toilets

    ReplyDelete
  70. toilets ar great
    i love toilets
    i want to be a toilet
    toilets r us xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  71. i like to touch rusty shpoonss

    ReplyDelete
  72. - the highness
    o the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the north
    5th the west
    6th the one with the polka dot vest
    7 11
    8th the ape
    9th the mime
    10th the 10th
    11th the one who took a rest
    12th the zombie
    13th the unlucky
    14th the one in the blury mist
    15th the lean mean stupid green-bean

    ReplyDelete
  73. (Sydney, 1990's)

    ReplyDelete
  74. I think that somepeople have gotit wrong but i personally think Jessica is da bomb was right unlike the rest of so deal with..ok!

    ReplyDelete
  75. HI EVERYONE
    THANKS FOR COMMENTING I LOVE THEM ALL
    KISSES TO YOU ALL LOVE YOU ALL
    XOX0OX0OX0OX0OX

    LEAVE MORE COMMENTS PLS
    LOVE THE COMMENTS THEY ARE GREAT
    SPOONS

    ReplyDelete
  76. I personally think Spoons are wrong and should be banned.

    ReplyDelete
  77. i personally think that you shouldnt express your opinions because it is innapropriate to my feelings.
    and i do not respect that.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Well i think people should respect others opinions and deal with it as i prefer the fork...
    its spikey and works well as a spoon too.
    personally spoons freak me out. so why dont you respect others feelings and LOVEFORKS <3 hehehehehe

    ReplyDelete
  79. Well, im my opinion child, forks are very dangerous to my life as i have had very bad experiences with forks.
    this i shall not explain as i might get too emotional and cry
    and i am a man so i do not cry
    sopoons are very much more smoother and fancy.

    ReplyDelete
  80. I am not a child i am a grown women with computer terrets
    w3ith the word 'heheheheheheh' i cannot help m actions and im soryy for being innapropriate but i feel for you if you need to talk go to the website attatch to my name... i can help you.

    ReplyDelete
  81. i will settle this
    go onto my site and buy my toilets

    ReplyDelete
  82. No I prefer Public toilets as you get to express yourself more, also get to meet people who share the commonn interest of the public toilet.Look at the website attached to my name to keep sharing the interest. Even send it to your friends!

    ReplyDelete
  83. i like toilets
    love them
    o my god
    vegans to
    eww not vegies
    kites are awesome

    ReplyDelete
  84. i also love cats
    donkeys as well
    socks FTW

    ReplyDelete
  85. First is the worst,
    Second is the best,
    Third is the one with the hair on his chest (or her)

    That was all we had, and it's interesting that we made the scansion different on the third line from almost all the other versions here.

    (London, ON in the early '80s)

    ReplyDelete
  86. i like cats also
    i wish i was a cat im so jealous
    damnilovecats

    merav
    i belive you
    you are great
    your assumptions are great
    i love it

    ReplyDelete
  87. my friends always say:
    minus the highness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    all the rest are the best
    last the luckiest

    ReplyDelete
  88. they way my friends and i say it is
    1st is the worst
    2nd is the best
    3rd is the one with a hairy chest
    4th is the queen
    5th is the king
    6th is the one with the poke a dot dress

    ReplyDelete
  89. silly silly silly
    Minus the Highness
    Zero the Hero
    First the Worst
    Second the Best
    Third the one with the Furry Vest
    Fourth the one golden gun
    Fifth the one with the big fat Bum
    Sixth the one with the Chewing gum

    Heard this at school

    ReplyDelete
  90. it is
    0 the hero
    Nd the best
    3rd the royal Princess
    4 the hairy chest
    Th the golden eagel

    ReplyDelete
  91. I can't believe my version never showed up! First the worst, second the best, third the golden turd, fourth is the king of the north, and fifth... well fifth sucks. I think we had those as the names of our swings we wouod race out to get! Good times, good times..

    ReplyDelete
  92. Minus the Highness
    Zero is the hero
    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the nerd with the polka dress
    Fourth is the one with a hairy chest
    fifth is the one who needs to impress
    sixth is the one who's an ugly princess
    seventh is the one in the stupid vest
    Eighth is the ape who makes a mess
    ninth is the one that is worth much less
    tenth is the one who got stuck in a desk

    ReplyDelete
  93. minus the highness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the legend
    third the nerd
    fourth the hore covered in tomato sauce
    fith the mith thats drifts
    sixth the trick mixer
    seventh the gate to heaven
    eighth the person with faith
    ninth the bedtimer
    tenth the one with the strength

    ReplyDelete
  94. 1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4the the golden eagle
    5th the dirty donkey

    England Leicester 80's

    Im trying to remember the rest for my 8 year old daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  95. This version is V10000000000000000000000000000
    I heard it in my school not long ago, 2010
    Minus the highness
    Zero the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the one with the golden dress
    5th the width
    6th the chick
    7th the peasant
    8th the present
    9th the pint
    10th the length
    Of the diamond plinth
    11th the Malteaser
    12th the fat cheater
    13th the Cheatah
    Who cheats at cards
    14th the clucker
    15th the Piece
    of yummy chocolate
    16th the Towel
    17th the one with
    The Buck-Teeth
    18th the Water Melon
    19th Is the dog
    Which can scarily talk
    20th is the one
    who can sing with his bum.

    ReplyDelete
  96. minus the highness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the one with the golden chest
    forth is north
    5th is a myth
    sixth is home sick
    seven is a twin with eleven
    eight is always late
    ninth

    ReplyDelete
  97. First is the worst,
    Second is the best,
    Third is the one with the golden chest,
    Fourth is the one with the A plus test.

    ReplyDelete
  98. No!!!!! ppl it's:

    Minus is the highness,
    Zero is the hero,
    First is the worst,
    Second is the best,
    Third is the one with the hairy chest,
    Fourth is the one that God love's the best,
    Fifth is the one with the polka dot dress,
    Sixth is the one with the golden bun,
    Seventh is the one with the stupid gun,
    Eighth is the one with the lots of fun,
    Ninth is the boy,
    Tenth is the toy,
    Eleventh is the girl,
    Twelfth has the curl,
    Thirteenth is the fool,
    Fourteenth's dad is a tool,
    Fifthteenth's mom is cool,
    Sixteenth is super smart,
    Seventeenth just made a fart,
    Eighteenth pooped out a tart,
    Nineteenth is tall,
    Twentieth is small!

    Ha I just made that up there well most of it xx ^_^

    ReplyDelete
  99. No no no no no!!!!!
    It goes:

    First's the worst
    Second's the best
    Third is the one with a hairy chest
    FOURTH IS THE ONE WITH THE GOLDEN DRESS!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, no! It goes:

      First the worst
      Second the best
      Third is a Mooshroom.

      Delete
  100. first the worst, second the beckoned, third the golden bird, fourth king/queen of the north, fifth king/queen of the mist, hay river 2009

    ReplyDelete
  101. Just sang this to my 5yr old girl but forgot half of it
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the golden eagle
    5th the crazy washine machine
    6th the dirty donkey......
    I cant remember anymore

    Late 80's @ Middleton,Manchester UK

    ReplyDelete

PLEASE tell us where and when you heard your version (ie, "Chicago, early 1950s). And please be aware that the information may end up in a book sooner or later.